Music Review

Book Review

Movie Review

Selected Review

Spring Cleaning and Floaty Pens

www.floaty.com

Okay. I have to admit - this is an obsession of mine.

It didn't start out that way. It started quite harmlessly as a spring cleaning project that got on to the overly anal track. It happened a few years back. I was studio cleaning. No small task by any means, the damn place is in a warehouse - nearly 2,500 square feet, plenty of room for messes of all sorts to get out of control. I had two boxes going - one for generic pencils & crayons and one for generic writing instruments of all other kinds. (I say generic because the 'artistic' drawing & writing instruments have their own special drawers & bins. This was just the crap stuff that was not worthy of using to make art.) Anyhow, at some point the box that contained the pens was overflowing, so, as mentioned, being in a fairly anal cleaning mode, I decided to delete the pens which no longer wrote. (I swear that this is something that only happens once every five years and then only during a full moon.)

In separating the have's from the have nots (ink wise that is) I realized what I had was a collection of "Floaty" Pens. Then and there ended my spring cleaning! I now had a new fixation - Floaty Pens. "Floaty Pens"? you say. You know the 'cute' little water filled pens you find at every tourist trap on the planet. Turns out that I had over 20 of them and not even realized it. And some of them were rather removed from cute! Humm..

Mini History of Floaty Pens

Floaty pens are called "floating pens" because, of course, something floats inside the barrel. Most of the pens are Danish-made Eskesen pens. But, Eskesen was not the first company to attempt Floaty Pens. Other styles had been created over the years, but had been plagued by the problem of leaking. In 1946, Peder Eskesen developed a method of effectively sealing the tubes. Eskesen continues to be the leader in Floaty Pen "technology", and the company's sealing process is still a carefully guarded secret.

Floaty Pens, as it turns out, have their own fervent following. And as every Floaty connoisseur knows, the good ones all have their parts manufactured by Eskesen. The art that is inside the pen may be produced by Eskesen or it may be produced by one of several other companies specializing in Floaties. Now I am not a Floaty elitist; I just collect pens that strike me as amusing. However, I do prefer my Floaties a bit on the irreverent side and the folks at Floaty Industries do just that.

There is a Floaty Pen to meet every taste. Floaty Industries can custom design pens to promote your business or even just commemorate your Bat Mitzvah. But what makes them really unique is their stable of Floaty Pen artists. Led by artist Jack Keeley, their pen designs are about as impertinent as you can get!

The touristy pens they design are the ones that you can mostly only acquire at the location being flaunted inside the pen. These are the kind that you want to nose-out while on vacation. My personal collection includes everything from Carlsbad Caverns (nice bat), to Tillamook Cheese (cool cow), to Rudy Montana's Spam Carving Contest (don't ask, but fun), to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel (long & boring), and even jumps the Atlantic to include Mont Blanc (so much for European class, even they have Floaties).

Then there are the just plain-damn-fun & impishly brazen pens that can be ordered directly through www.floaty.com .They have subjects ranging from food & beverages to S&M. My 'Hotdog' pen, floating salaciously in and out of the bun reminds me, "Always use a condiment" while my "Slow Speed Chase" pen just flippantly commemorates the O.J. Simpson highway chase, complete with a slow floating white Ford Bronco & police cars in pursuit.

I have my own little portable section of the Sistine Chapel ceiling in a pen showing floating arms, hands and fingers of Michelangelo's, "Creation of Adam" (it reminds me "Keep in Touch"). And Van Gogh's ear floating melodramatically over a section of his "Starry Night" is just down right surreal!

Their Tip & Strip category too features Floaties for all tastes. Check out their complete line of Fetish Gals & Fetish Guys. From nuns to cowboys they all strip down to their raw naked floaty finest. And minor household repairs have not been the same since getting my Guy Pal screwdriver - quite the "studmuffin". Prefer your leather-clad S&M writing implements a bit more on the macho hunk side? The Tom of Finland series provides some of the most gratifying choices of pens you could ever own. The Two Guys with a Heart pen that tips to reveal guys with intertwined love tools, will provide hours of writing entertainment.

Feeling a bit indecisive for the day? www.floaty.com comes though once again! Their on-line Oracle - Decision Maker (also available in pen form) can help by determinedly answering any Yes or No question; it's much better than any old "ask again later" Magic Eight Ball.

Now at this point you are wondering, just what do Floaty Pens have to do with vampirism? Plenty I say! Aside from being just a whole hell-of-a-lot of good fun (something our sad sorry little world & its current state of affairs can use more of these days), they can help with shielding. Check out the whole section of pens filled with minerals & gem stones instead of water. What better way to you better remind you of your shield visualization than a handy pocket-protector ready piece of fortification? Need an extra boost to receive some good energy? Or how about just feeling a bit more centered amid chaos? With gem pen choices from amethyst to tiger's eye there are plenty of protection choices for all.

For the serious collector, Floaty Industries offers a line of floaty accessories. Although I have yet to indulge my now 40 strong & growing obsession in such, they have available official Floaty Pen holders to show-off your Floaites to their finest. Humm! maybe I should look into the 72 pen "wedding cake" style Floaty holder.. Gotta have room to grow you know.

Reviewed by: LA / nodecaf

Back to Main Page